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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
9:10 pm - what the hell does this comic mean?


Is it trying to vilify the media? And what the hell are those ninja black cats with scimitars? Why's the Pope with an Islamic dude? Seriously.

WhatWouldJesusDownload.com (pops)

(2 blurbs | give your spiel)

Sunday, June 18th, 2006
11:39 pm - NIGBOREHKNGFIOEIGJEFKLNGIEO
GNRIEONGVERIOHROGNVIOERNIOEHIGVERO VIOERONGIQERO'[H GNE
ERIOVBJIEORNVERO;NBIQE
PRGJERIONGERNO GBK
ERJ
BMO
ERJOP
WHBWEMH
BP


FAIL. SO. MUCH. FAIL.

(give your spiel)

Monday, April 10th, 2006
11:27 pm - almost forgot
Despair.com Picture of the Day

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Sunday, April 9th, 2006
2:41 pm - more
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(give your spiel)

Saturday, April 8th, 2006
9:36 pm - and again
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(give your spiel)

Friday, April 7th, 2006
3:36 pm - mmhmm
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(give your spiel)

Thursday, April 6th, 2006
3:18 pm - *sigh*
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(2 blurbs | give your spiel)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
6:03 pm - zing?
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(2 blurbs | give your spiel)

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
3:46 pm - continuing...
Despair.com Picture of the Day

(1 blurb | give your spiel)

Monday, April 3rd, 2006
4:35 pm - something i used to do...
Seeing as we're mostly all college students and mostly all disaffected...

Despair.com Picture of the Day

(1 blurb | give your spiel)

Sunday, March 26th, 2006
9:50 pm - a trip down memory lane
So...I'm cleaning up all the old high school crap in my room, and I come upong some stuff from Phoenix. One of the packets I found was a collection of AP essays that Creelman had us read and judge. Two years later, they're still funny enough to warrant my posting up on LJ.

I present to you two stunning pieces of literary critique (written by real students on real AP English Lit tests). Bolded portions are for emphasis. All other mistakes and editing marks are those of the author. These essays are copied in their entireties.

The prompt: Select a novel or play in which a tragic figure functions as an instrument of the suffering of others. Then write an essay in which you explain how the suffering brought upon others by that figure contributes to the tragic vision of the work as a whole.

Genius #1
A tragedy novel always has a hero who has caused the tragedy. In the trade tragedy "Hamlet," hie uncle Claudius poisoned his father brother King Hamlet. To make matters worse, he marries his brother's wife, less than a month after he is buried. Throughout the entire tragedy, it can be said that all Claudius wanted was to be powerful and to reign over the land. He would stop at nothing to fulfill his dream. In the lh end, Claudius is killed, his wife is killed, Hamlet Jr. is killed, and many more. Greed can kill a person.

Genius #2
Macbeth


William Shakespeare's Macbeth is a tale of revenge and honor as well as treachery among royalty. In the play, all the characters who die except for one die die are due to because of Macbeth. The only character whose death is due to another person is the old King Macbeth. Macbeth's greed not ony only causes him to kill the King but cas causes the execution of the two gaurds gaurding the King, Macbeth's fried friend whats-his-name, an en the family of of someone else, Macbeth's wife, and eventually Macbeth himself. Macbeth oc orchastrates is the cause for the death death of all of these people either directly or indirectly. His lust for the crown creates a chain reaction that leads to a revo revolution & eventually a war. One cannot blame the three whitche witches for Macbeth's actions. His friend received a siri similar prophecy, yet did not act upon it.

Yet, it can be argued that Macbeth is a tragic-hero. He only believed he was carrying out a prophecy that would be fulfilled regardless , of what he did. Macbeth was also pressured into killing the King by his wife.

(give your spiel)

4:29 pm - The Bible, complete with lego sex scenes
http://www.thebricktestament.com/

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Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
1:04 pm - Schrodinger's puppy and how to turn a salad into steak
http://cosmicvariance.com/2006/02/27/quantum-interrogation/

(courtesy of Teresa, whatever her s/n is. sorry, can't remember)

(give your spiel)

Monday, February 27th, 2006
12:02 am - .........................
Regarding her Dell laptop:

"It nuzzles my bosom like a person."
--Irene




o_O

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Saturday, January 14th, 2006
9:27 pm - lolz...
Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons
are bread users.


2. Fully HALF of all children who grow
up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.


3. In the 18th century, when virtually
all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than
50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died
in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza
ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes
are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.


5. Bread is made from a substance called
"dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be
used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that
in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have
no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease,
and osteoporosis.


7. Bread has been proven to be addictive.
Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread
after as little as two days.


8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item,
leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter,
and even cold cuts.


9. Bread has been proven to absorb water.
Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating
bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food
product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as
high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in
less than one minute.


12. Most American bread eaters are utterly
unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless
statistical babbling.




In light of these frightening statistics,
it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast"
campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.


3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread
to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.


4. No animal or human images, nor any
primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread
usage.


5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones
around schools.

(2 blurbs | give your spiel)

Thursday, January 5th, 2006
12:20 am - best quote from the USC vs. Vince Young game:
"Now, you're on the cereal! Yeaaahh! CEREAL FOR EVERYONE!! *crazy pterodactyl scream a la Howard Dean*"

Heehee...

(3 blurbs | give your spiel)

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
11:21 am - a string of BUNNY! comics
jesus = old. cthulhu = older.


microscopic fiends

(that's a sperm on the left and a bacteriophage on the right for those of us that could care less =P)

the count of monty bun cristo

^better than the Wishbone version

baked treats of international powerplays


bwahahahahhaha

(give your spiel)

Thursday, December 29th, 2005
1:20 pm - a serious question
what is there to do in this city or surrounding area?

(3 blurbs | give your spiel)

Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
5:56 pm - some things make me laugh
a girl dressed like some punk-ass goth, smelling the different body lotions in bath and body works

(give your spiel)

Monday, December 26th, 2005
1:50 am - haha! mac users... =P
http://members.cox.net/clyqz/mac.swf

(1 blurb | give your spiel)

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